Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters Review: Burn It with Fire
Hollywood is really nothing more than a giant game of incestuous grab ass. Every time an exec at one of the major studios has a moderately interesting brain fart, it leaks out and the rest of the industry scrambles to catch up. I think no trend illustrates that point better than the recent spate of fairy tale based movies Hollywood has begun churning out in the wake of Warner Bros’ take on Little Red Riding Hood and Universal’s darker take on Snow White. Before this trend exhausts itself, I’m sure we’ll see gritty reboots of Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, and Pinocchio. This weekend, however, we get Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, writer/director Tommy Wirkola’s attempt to splice The Brothers Grimm with Sam Raimi’s Army of Darkness.
Read the rest of this article…
Parker Review: Fuck You, Jennifer Lopez
Does anyone in Hollywood have a better job than Jason Statham? Sure, there are superior actors out there. Sure, there are more bankable stars out there. But no one gets to play bad asses as consistently as Statham does. He’s one of the last real action stars left in Hollywood. His movies are visceral, brutal, and charmingly stupid. Statham’s great, his movies are great. Parker, Statham’s latest movie, also looked great, but then Jennifer Lopez had to come in and ruin it.
Read the rest of this article…
MGR: Revengeance Demo Impressions
Boy, oh, boy. More Metal Gear.
Of course, it’s a little odd not seeing Solid Snake at the forehead of this game, being the staple of the series since his incarnation in the original Metal Gear games, only ever taking the side-line during MGS3 when Raiden was introduced. Like most, I wasn’t impressed by this newcomer, who seems to have taken the spot-light. In fact I think most were happy with sticking to the grizzled survivalist we’d seen in the tougher-than-grit hero, Solid Snake, but nobody can blame a series for trying to evolve. Read the rest of this article…
Unlocking Your Phone Will Become Illegal on Saturday
Set my phone free!
Hey you, reading this article thinking about unlocking your phone to use on another carrier. What you are about to do is illegal and you will be thrown in jail, FOR-E-VER! That’s kind of a lie. If you bought your phone before Saturday, January 26, 2013, then by all means, unlock your phones and do what you will with them. But if you bought it afterwards, don’t do it because you are not legally allowed to. Read the rest of this article…
Crytek Acquires Rights to Homefront IP…Interesting.
Hopefully it will be better this time.
So. We all know that THQ is done (Which sucks, because we really liked them). We also know that they had handed development of Homefront 2 over to Crytek last year. Now that THQ has gone tango uniform, though, we have found out that Crytek has acquired the intellectual property rights for Homefront and will be taking over the whole show from here on out.
Read the rest of this article…
Facebook’s New Graph Search Missing Critical Component: A Point
Let’s find something cool.
At a major event, Facebook recently unveiled Graph Search, a new discovery tool that would take advantage of your friends’ data to provide better recommendations and results from, well, your friends, rather than the anonymous mass that is the average Google inquiry. The tool just opened to early registrants yesterday and is still relatively early, meaning it lacks nearly all the data from third-party apps. But placing all that data in this tool can’t solve the simple fact that Facebook’s new Graph Search is fundamentally useless. Underwhelming is the word I’ve seen across a swath of reviews to describe Facebook’s new toy and it’s one that fits aptly here. It could not be more underwhelming.
Read the rest of this article…
Today We Say Goodbye To THQ
I guess I’ll see you, see you on the other siiiiide…
Well, it’s been a long road. While THQ had originally planned to sell itself in its entirety to investment group Clearlake, the courts decided that they would get more money selling off their properties and studios individually. As widely reported, many of these studios found homes and THQ ultimately raised $72 million. But while Relic goes to Sega, Volition goes to Deep Silver, and South Park, plus a number of other properties, go to Ubisoft, our sources in THQ have confirmed that today is the final day for the employees of THQ proper and Vigil Studios, whom you may know for the Darksiders games. Yeah, it’s all done now.
Read the rest of this article…
Trion Worlds + XL Games = Best Asian MMORPG Ever?
It’s pretty…that’s for sure
Well, that’s what the email I got from them is claiming. It seems that Trion Worlds and XLGames have entered into a strategic partnership which will see Trion Worlds bringing the XLGames title “ArcheAge” to Western markets…And they claim it “is poised to be the most polished massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) coming out of Asia.“. The game will be hosted on Trion Worlds’ Red Door platform in North America, Europe, Turkey, Australia and New Zealand.
Read the rest of this article…
Data Caps Are Crap And We Overpay for Internet
Y U NO GO FASTER?
I get really heated being screwed over by paying so much for internet. $79.99 a month for 20MB internet? Seriously? Oh, I can’t forget that I’m also capped at 250GB of bandwidth a month and will have to pay overage fees. C’mon now. ISP’s have been saying that the data cap is there because of network congestion and that soon they won’t be able to support all the internet use. Upgrade your hardware is what I say! Don’t tell me you can’t give me faster speeds because the router in my area can’t handle it because it’s too old. Read the rest of this article…
I Don’t Want J.J. Abrams To Direct Star Wars
No.
Word is quickly flying around that TV producer/Star Trek director J.J. Abrams is all but set to direct the newest Star Wars film, Episode VII, currently being scribed by Toy Story 3/Little Miss Sunshine writer Michael Arndt. I have faith in Arndt’s ability to create a compelling story worthy of the lore (although that bar is pretty low at this point), but the idea of J.J. Abrams crossing the streams between Star Wars and Star Trek franchises, a dangerous kind of cross-pollination that shouldn’t exist amongst these fictional fiefdoms, is scary. Episode VII can only be less because of Abrams.
Read the rest of this article…
